Baby Daddy 19: No More Words

Ah, yes. We are back to the subject of my son's nickname. For those that didn't know, my father-in-law was debating between calling my son "Little Tiger", and "Fart Testicle". Well, he has made a decision. The other day, my mother-in-law was talking to my father-in-law about my son. They were on the phone, and his first question was, "How is Fart Testicle?" My mother-in-law, to be fair, asked what the fuck my father-in-law was talking about. He then proceeded to decide my son's nickname. In doing so, my father-in-law declared, "No more words. It will be Fart Testicle."

Now I know what you may be thinking. Why not Little Tiger? Well, I'll tell you. On the circular calendar for the Chinese zodiac, Tiger is a direct opposite of Monkey. And as it turns out, my father-in-law was born in the year of the Monkey. As a result, he is afraid that any association with tigers will set my son to be in direct conflict. Never mind the fact that our son will be born in the year of the Rooster, it is the potential of having a Tiger personality that my father-in-law is against.

Now, in talking to Cousin Soup, my wife and I learned that the Chinese words for Fart Testicle can also be translated to mean "Ass". Not the donkey ass, but like a human tushy. Yes, that's right. My son's nickname is either Ass, or Fart Testicle. My wife and I started discussing which we would prefer. While Ass seems generally more acceptable, we both ended up voting for Fart Testicle. There is just something so vivid about the name, that we have to respect it. I mean, seriously? That is a creative fucking name! I feel bad for Fart Testicle, knowing that his Chinese grandparents will call him that, but I can't help but to admire the name.

Moral of the Story: China has fucked up nicknames, and my son has one of the weirder ones. Also, I never thought I would be judging which is more appropriate between Ass and Fart Testicle.