Drunk Onesie Night

YES! It is Monday, once again! How was your weekend? Mine was good. On Friday, my wife and I went to a movie. We saw Office Christmas Party, which was hilarious. If you want a touching Christmas movie, then don't see this. If you want to laugh your ass off, watch this fucking movie. That is the most I will share about the movie. Go watch it. Now while the movie was great, the conditions for the movie were better. Why? Because our Game Night Friends joined us. What's better? One of them was having a Drunk Onesie Night. What does that mean? It means he had such an awful day that he wore a onesie and got drunk, before going to the movie. Of course, that meant that all five of us wore onesies to the theater, too. We had to show solidarity with our friend. 

Now, I must say that I have a special affinity and appreciation for Drunk Onesie Nights. There was a night in 2011, when I had such a night. I was working as a research assistant, and was also the team leader for my senior design project. Why was I the leader? Because I am a motherfucking bad-ass. And by that, I mean that I was the only one who could stand to not punch a particular teammate in the face. Well, that ability was tested one day. Saving my own personal bullshit, I will cut to the heart of the story. I had gotten home from a team meeting at 3:30 PM, and I was wearing a dinosaur onesie and drunk as shit by 4:00 PM.

That's right. I got home, put on a dinosaur onesie, and cracked a bottle of Crown Royal. Not only that, but I was half-way through the bottle in about 30 minutes. I had two friends come by, and I thought it was late. I figured we were settling in for a good night of hard drinking. They opened the blinds to reveal that it was fucking 5:30 PM, sunny, and that we were supposed to pick up a pizza order. What did I do? I drunk walked my dinosaur ass to the Pizza Casbah. I got a shit-tonne of high-fives, and a massive pizza to soak up the whiskey. 

That's how I knew that our friend had a shitty day. It took me thirty minutes to hit Drunk Onesie level. That's also why I dino'd up in solidarity.

Moral of the Story: When times get shitty, put on a onesie and get a little shitty (schwasty-facedd).