Fuck You, and Fuck Your Car

So why am I posting twice in one day? Because I was fucked. One story would be too long, and two stories would be too short. So I am giving you one and a half stories. Because fuck you. And by fuck you, I mean fuck Brad. Who is Brad? Brad is Noelle's boyfriend. That is not his real name. And to be fair, I do not know if I have already written stories about Brad or not. If I did, I do not know if I used this alias, or something else. So fuck it. Now Brad has a tag and I don't need to worry about it.

So what is this story about? Well, while several of the Game night Friends and I had a Drunk Onesie Night, Brad was having a drunk night of his own. In fact, he blacked-out. Brad blacked-out at 9:30PM-ish. He also lost his car. We know this because Noelle updated the Game Night Friends that she and Brad were driving around town to find it. Evidently, after Brad blacked out, he decided to drive towards home. We know that he had already blacked out by this time, because he decided to call his mother.

Evidently Brad's mom called Noelle, worried. Brad had willingly called her, and talked for a solid five minutes. That's right. it takes a shit-tonne of alcohol for Brad to become a decent, caring son. We think, at that point, he decided to park his car and walk home. As it turns out, Brad was able to park his car, and then walk approximately 10 miles in freezing conditions. He woke up the next day with a wicked hangover, incredibly sore legs, and no recollection of where he parked.

Now, my wife and I knew exactly where Brad left his car. In fact, it was a 96-97% chance that he had left his car at this particular sushi restaurant. How did we know? Because Drunk Brad would want to sober up, or get food. And this restaurant is one of the only places that would be open late. They would have both tea, and sushi. The fact that this was not Brad and Noelle's first stop was shocking. They spent an entire day searching, and my wife and I found the car in 15 minutes. Being the good friends that we are, we took a selfie next to the car/license plate, and sent it to Brad with the caption "Fuck you, and fuck your car."

Moral of the Story: My wife and I are awesome. Noelle was pissed at Brad. Brad had incredibly sore legs, and may or may not have an issue with alcohol.