Get ready, I'm about to talk about political shit. Why? Because yesterday was fucking ridiculous. For those who know, and those who don't, the US is in the transition from President Obama to President-elect Trump. Now, I cannot remember when this happened, but I entered to win tickets to the inauguration. My logic was sound, in that I thought Hillary Clinton was going to win. I didn't expect to get tickets, but at least I had a chance to witness history (first female president of the United States). When I entered, my wife asked what would happen if Trump won. I told her that, should Trump win, she and I could witness the death of American democracy.
Now, at the time, I thought it was a hilarious joke. There were 174 tickets released to people in our state. I would have bet money that we would not get them. Then some crazy-ass shit happened. American elected motherfucking Trump. I mean, what the fuck was America thinking? Don't get me wrong, I can respect Trump's ability to stay relevant. He talks mad shit on Twitter, has a TV show, and can bluff his way around the business table.
Then the next crazy thing happened. Trump started talking mad shit to China. Between denouncing the "One China" policy and the bullshit with a drone, Trump has antagonized China like a son-of-a-gun. What's worse? This drone business took place after the White House already fixed the fucking issues. In the mean time, Russia has started investing in nuclear materials again. Trump, not to be outdone, has tweeted that he would also like to amass nuclear resources, Because the Cold War clearly didn't suck the last time.
And that brings me to the most recent crazy-ass shit. My wife and I won tickets to the inauguration. That's right. 174 tickets for the entire state, and my wife and I get two. I literally voted for every candidate that lost. My folks had entered, and they did not win any. My mom's reaction was, "It feels like you just received tickets to be violated. I was rejected by both senators. It is not surprising they went with the white male. I think the music for the inauguration is probably banjos. Good luck."
To be fair, I am a white male. In fact, I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm an Aryan wet-dream, except for the whole Jew thing. Speaking of which, a group on Instagram liked one of my photos. Turns out they are a "Nordic Pride" group. It also turns out that "Nordic Pride" translates to "White Pride". Talk about gross. And before anyone here says shit, no the photo wasn't racist. It was literally a picture of my deadlift personal record. Fucking white power people ruin everything.
Now of course, my wife and I told our friends about the situation. We thought it was hilarious. I literally roast the shit out of Trump each day. My wife shares with me the world events, according to China, and I share a witty little quip about Trump signaling the death of America. So when we go to the inauguration, if we go, it is to troll the shit out of it. Our friends maintain that we need to not attend, so that it has the lowest turnout of any historical inauguration.
Fuck. That. We want to go. My wife is looking at a shirt that has an anchor on it. The idea being that the anchor will be positioned over our son, making a commentary on the "anchor baby" bullshit that the Republicans spewed forth. I want a t-shirt with the Russian flag, or the Hammer and Sickle, that says, "I Voted". Again, commentary on the reported Russian interference in our elections. And so that's it. My wife and I talk a lot of shit about Trump, and yet we may still see his inauguration.
Moral of the Story: Trump says stupid shit. We seem to be moving toward Cold War II. Oh, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking over for Trump on the Apprentice. Because that makes sense.
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