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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

What the Shit, China? 5: New Year, New Penis Joke

Speaking of Communism, I have to say that Chinese government is fucking ridiculous. With the new year, the Chinese government decided that they would post an English word-search in the government sponsored newspaper. What is a government sponsored newspaper? Propaganda. It is also a direct insight into the government, if you look beyond the story to see the machine behind it. In this case, however, the Chinese fucked it up. They just so happened to use the word-search that my wife's friend, Cheese made. Now if you didn't know already, Cheese is a dirty motherfucker. He once drew a logo for a company, specifically designed to be an abstract penis and testicle. Yes, it was a Lance Armstrong logo, in that there was only one testicle. No, it was not actually used for Lance Armstrong.
Now why is it funny that the Chinese government used his word-search? Because Cheese filled the entire thing with dirty words. I mean, you could find the word "fuck", "testicles", "pussy", "asshole", etc. You could also find "Bieber", but that's a different story. Anyway, the Chinese government published this word-search in their propaganda newspaper, without actually reading what the words were. As soon as BBC and the world caught wind of it, Chinese government was caught looking foolish. They immediately retracted what they could, and claimed that an American was responsible for switching out the two word-searches.
Do you know the only problem with that? Cheese has 7 Million followers, and that shit was posted to his social media. He literally shared it to the world (and to us), before China published it. What really happened? China tried to be cool, and plagiarized a popular celebrity's social media post. Because it's fucking China, they didn't think to look at what it actually said, and ended up coming across like the 13-year-old boy that Cheese is at heart.

Moral of the Story: If you plagiarize something from Cheese, expect there to be a dick-joke and/or Bieber reference.

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