Alpha as Fuck, Part 1

Ah yes, it is a glorious day indeed. The sun is shining, and the powder's bitchin'. That's a lie. I'm in the South. It's overcast and awkwardly warm. And with that being the case, I thought I would share some thoughts on some random things. My thoughts for his post? Being Alpha as Fuck.

Now for those who don't know, there is a thing called "Bro Culture". Imagine the biggest muscle-clad guy in the gym, lifting weights and getting rawdy. And yes, that was an intentional typographic error. Here's a satirical portrayal of someone who is Alpha as Fuck: (warning: language)

Now while this guy is clearly making fun of the Bro's, these people exist. They claim to be Alpha as fuck, but are very much not.

First of all, let's look at Alpha, and what that means. Here's some science for your candy-ass. The world is filled with various frequencies of wavelength. In the brain, there are four major ones.

Now let's look at these. In Delta, your ass is sleepin'. In Theta, your relaxed, meditating, groggy as fuck. Imagine when you're sitting on the couch, or laying in bed, or at work after lunch, and you keep dosing off. You know what I mean. Like that time when you went to class hungover, had your head in your hands, and were completely out of it. You slipped into Delta long enough to hit your head on the desk and embarrass yourself in front of everyone.

Now let's look at Beta. Beta is hyped as fuck. Beta is the person out there, yelling their head off. They are the one laying on the horn, pissed because you took an extra half-second at the green light. Now to be fair, some intersections have short lights and y'all motherfuckers need to move. At the same time, zippy needs to calm his ass down a cut the horn shit out.

And then you get to Alpha. Alpha is the happy medium between Beta and Theta. In Beta, you are rushing your ass out to get your errands done. In Theta, you're dragging your ass out of bed and looking for some Saturday morning cartoons. In Alpha, you are right in between. And for the record, I don't agree with the first meme. It talks about not thinking in the Alpha state. I disagree. But all the other "summary" memes were hippie-dippie, so there you go.

This is a long as post already, so check Alpha as Fuck, Part 2 for the sequel.