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Monday, May 15, 2017

Holy Shit, Russia

Holy shit, Russia! In the past week, you have visited my shit almost 100 times! France lit me up with 40 hits! That's fantastic! That also tells me that someone fucked up. Why? Because Russia doesn't seem to hit my blog unless they are in the news, Trump is in the news, or some other shit is going down that will result in my ridiculing Russia. On a side note, I cannot help but wondering if the boost in Russian and French visits is related to the fact that two pornographic websites are the top referring URLs.
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I still don't know what that means, but it makes sense. Why? Because I could see France being related to a naked woman. And I can see Russia being related to hotel nudes. After all, I hear that Russia owns Chechnya, and thus has a monopoly on organ harvesting. How do you harvest an organ? By luring stupid Americans to hotels with naked women. And why are they stupid Americans? Because who the fuck else would willingly travel to Chechnya? They have literally started exterminating homosexuals. Nobody wants to fuck with a country like that. Except to bomb the shit out of them. But that would kick off another war. On a side note, Chechnya needs to simmer the fuck down on their work and death camps. Goddamn. 
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Speaking of which, dear ol' Donny Trump fired the FBI director. Whether the media is making a big deal of it or not, Trump looks fucking dumb for doing it. "Hey, you are investigating me, because of Russia. Fuck it. You're fired." Come the fuck on. On a separate note, I am going to be curious about what role Russia has had in our politics. I remember Mitt Romney warning about Russia during his presidential run. He lost, of course, but it was curious. 
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Beyond that, I don't have much to say about Russia. Y'all are trying to take over the globe. Y'all seem to be doing okay at it. It would appear Russia has finally figured out how to do something besides drink, wear grey, and be depressed. I'm teaching my son some Russian. Not much, but he's going to know a lot of profanity in the future. 
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As for France, I got nothing. I hear that you have a beautiful country, and that it is marred by how shitty the French personality is - very judgmental, and laced with anti-Semitism. Fuck that noise. As a brief disclaimer, realizing how convoluted the politics are in the US, I am not Russian and I don't fuck with Russians. They are crazy and I don't fuck with crazy. 
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Moral of the Story: Thanks, France and Russia!

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