Fight or Flight (Unfuck Your Head)

I want to discuss the concept of "the grind". You all know what that is. It is the part of life that you get up, and you do, because goddamn it, it has to get done. I also want to discuss the power of the mind. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. What do you think makes the grind easy or hard?

I believe that, fundamentally, our grind comes from the "Fight or Flight" response. We are programmed to see something as strenuous, and decide if we are going to run or attack. In some cases, there is paralysis. This is when you throw your hands in the air, ask Jesus to take the wheel, and pray that he knows how to drive. The answer is that he doesn't. Why? Because fucking Jesus is hiding in the back of the goddamn truck, praying to make it into the U.S., and not get deported because of some bullshit new immigration policy. And yes, I am calling out Trump and the GOP. And no, I am not saying Jesus is illegal. On a side note, for those that thought I mean Jesus Christ, do you really think he's the best one to be driving? I mean, cars didn't exist in his time. Even if you assume Jesus Christ is your lord and savior, he would still need a goddamn driver's license. Otherwise his ass is getting arrested along with yours. And let's be honest, the car swerving from your letting go is going to instantly nab a drunk driving test. Do you want Jesus to take that test? His blood is goddamn wine. His BAC would read "Yes". Fuck you. On with the show.

So assuming that you are going to at least take some sort of action, the question is whether you want to fight, or flee. Most people flee.

"That's hard."

"I can't do that."

"That doesn't feel good."

"I'm sweaty."

These are the four most comment excuses I hear, when people talk about what they cannot do. And as a result, they quit. They say, "Fuck it." and go. This is the case in training, and this is the case in work. People decide that they would rather work in a dead-end job, shuffling papers, making inadequate wages, because it's a fuck-tonne easier than applying themselves and advancing. Or leaving the job and pursuing their actual dreams. Fuck that. We're going to be better. Why? Because we are going to tell that negative voice in our heads to zip it.

Little known fact: Jon "Bones" Jones was called one day, and told he had a chance to fight for the UFC championship title. The catch? He only had 6-weeks to prepare. Keep in mind that most fighters will take several months to prepare for a championship fight. Jon Jones accepted the fight, however, and walked away as the new champ. When asked about it, Jones said that a champion is always ready to fight, even if they are not yet the champion. Rather than put out to the universe that he was not ready for the fight, and thus was not ready to be champion, Jones kicked ass and won. In that same interview, he said that his success comes from "being comfortable with being uncomfortable".

That's what I have started trying to convey to the people I train, and to the people I come in contact with. I can tell you now, I am just as guilty. I have a project at work that I have been avoiding for weeks, now. Our education company is taking off, but I have slacked on driving it forward. My engineering company was stagnant for a long time, though I am now pushing that one more. And I am progressing as a trainer, though my own training has suffered. And why? Because I have a newborn and no longer sleep. And you know what? That's still not an excuse. It is, but it isn't.

SO now the question is, why are you not where you want to be? We can look at it from a physical standpoint (I do love training people), or professional standpoint. Is it that you have truly been hindered in everything, or is it that you have not taken the steps to succeed? To be fair, some circumstances cannot be surmounted. I know several people, myself included, that have gotten screwed. Ironically, they were all screwed in the PhD program. It happens. Sometimes there are powers that you cannot control. If that's the case, and you do get fucked, what do you do? Do you sit there and mope? Maybe. I did. Not for long, because I had to find a job to cover the bills, but I moped.

Even now, I am at war with my psychology. I am so goddamn tired, but so incredibly excited about all of my projects, and I don't have a damn clue how to balance them. Especially not while still being a decent husband and father. Notice that I said decent. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to be great as both a husband and father. At the same time, I know something is slipping. And maybe it's my mind, but I am certain I can be doing more to support my wife and this kid. Not financially, of course. I'm broke as fuck. But, you know, with morale. Even so, I'mma keep fighting to keep it all in check.

And so that's it. The funny part is that I started this last week, and am finishing it now, and I managed to sleep between now and then. The other funny part is that nothing has changed, except that I have slept. And so with that, I'mma call this post done.

Moral of the Story: We need to unfuck our heads and get aggressive toward making our dreams into goals, and our goals into reality. Also, I do not trust Jesus behind the wheel.