Baby Daddy 39: The Vengeful Pooper

I'm BAAAACK!!!!!! Holy shit was October a helluva month! Between the kiddo growing, several major deadlines at work, several major application deadlines for students, and my Professional Engineering exam, I was fucking worked! And with that, I am ready to (hopefully) bring this bitch back online!

So how should I start? With my son! The Boy Beast Wonder is amazing! I will call him the Boy Beast, but I will not call him the BBW. Why? Because Googling BBW yields highly inappropriate material that will get me fired from at least one of my jobs. BUT! My son is ALREADY WALKING! Eight months old, and the child wants to walk and run everywhere! He only takes a few steps, of course, before he decides it is time to run. Because he hasn't quite learned to run, he then face-plants to the floor. That's okay though! He even said his first word: "Hello". Adele would be so damn proud!

In other news, my son has learned a new trick. If you read through many of my past posts, you will see where I lament over my son being constipated. I am proud and terrified to say that this is no longer a concern. Quite the contrary, our son has learned a new trick. If we put him down for a nap, and he decided he doesn't want one, then he will stand-up, stare at the baby monitor, dip his hips *grunt*, "WAAAHHH!"

Yes, that's right. My son will poo. He is a spiteful, vengeful pooper. Now I know what you are thinking. Surely it is just coincidence, right? No! He does it out of spite! How do I know? Because he did it three times in one day! Every single time. Crib. Stand. Dip. Grunt. Poo. Cry.

After a while, I actually started to worry about his colon. That is a whole helluva lot of movement for such a tiny body. Of course, that much poo-poo is also exhausting. We gave him a bath after the third poo, and that child damn near passed-out in the water. I actually think he may have made an effort to poo, but was just too tired to do so, and tuckered himself out.

Moral of the Story: My son is the Boy Beast Wonder, and has engaged in bio-warfare against us.