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Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Ultron vs North Korea

For those that don't know, Avengers Infinity War came out a while ago. If you didn't know, then you CLEARLY live under a rock. It was advertised literally everywhere. I saw a post at a restaurant bathroom. It was gross. The bathroom, not the poster. But that is not the purpose of this story. 
Image result for infinity war
After watching Infinity War, my wife and I decided to embark on a Marvel Movie Marathon. We have been binge watching a Marvel movie at least once a week, if not more. Yesterday's movie was a special treat: Avengers: Age of Ultron. Warning: Spoilers ahead.
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So in the movie, Tony Stark creates Ultron - an artificial intelligence (AI) that is supposed to create peace on earth. On in the movie, Ultron turns evil and they have to defeat it. Now the plot does not matter, as much as the humor of it. Why is this funny? Because Ultron travels via the internet. Do you know why/how Ultron could not take over the entire world? Simple: North Korea
Image result for north korea meme
While we make fun of North Korea, the reality is that they are the best equipped to combat Ultron. After all, they only have what, 12 websites? North Korea has such janky internet that they are likely on dial-up. Could you imagine an AI trying to take over a country that still has to listen to the dial-up connection, simply to access a website that brags about their government? Ultron would likely just quit! 
Even if Ultron doesn't quit, that would be the shittiest connection ever. Ultron manages to establish a connection. It starts trying to access weapons codes. And suddenly, Kimmie boy decides to make a phone call. We can assume that North Korea only has one real phone. After all, you can't have a totalitarian dictatorship and let people actually call the world.
Image result for dial up internet meme
Suddenly, Kimmie decides to call in for a pizza (or whatever the fuck he eats. I hear he doesn't eat cheese?). Ultron is about to get weaponized and BAM! Just like that, Ultron experiences the bane of the 1990's and early 2000's. 
Image result for dial up internet meme
I mean, Ultron could still fuck up the US and the rest of the world, but at least we know one weakness?

Moral of the Story: Infinity Wars is a great movie, and Ultron can't do shit about N. Korea. 
Image result for north korea meme internet

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