The other night, we were hosting a cookout/party for our group of game friends. Todd, the friend formerly known as Craig, came to join us. It should be noted that Todd was recently on a cruise, during which time he went off of his nutrition plan. That's right, Todd started to carbo-load like a motherfucker. As a result, Todd came to the party with the mindset of eating things. All of the things. The man ate pudding, he ate meat, he drank Jack and Coke (as opposed to Jack and Coke Zero), all of the things. Because Todd was off-diet, he insisted to be called Craig, again.
Later in the evening, my wife is eating some food. Todd comes over, and my wife immediately says, "Hey, Todd!".
Todd replies, saying, "I'm Craig now! I'm off diet!".
My wife immediately says, "Fuck you, Todd. You're not Craig until you get your belly back." She then proceeds to open a beer and leave the room.
Moral of the Story: Todd is still Todd, and he ate my pudding......asshole.
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