High School Experiences: Russians

So I mentioned before that I had an eclectic group of friends in high school. We would eat lunch, people would try to convert us, and we would laugh. You need to realize, however, that my school was very diverse. We had a demographic of: 30% Black, 30% White, 30% Latino, 10% Asian/everyone else. This made for great cultural learning, but it also made for some fucked up situations.

One other note, is that we had a growing population of Russian speakers. There were some from Ukraine, some from Russia, some from other places. Part of that is because the Jewish Community Center in the area would still accept/exchange rubles. And for those that don't know, rubles are the Russian currency are aren't worth dick in American dollars. That's a lie, they are actually worth 0.016 US Dollars. That's right, rubles are worth a penny. Perhaps that's why Russia can only really offer vodka, fail/crash videos, and mail-order brides. I joke, the mail-order brides are from Ukraine. I joke again. Or do I....?....!

(By the way, that fancy ass 50 Ruble bill? Worth 50 cents. And not the rapper. Last I heard, he filed for bankruptcy. That awkward moment when you aren't even worth the value of your name.)

Anyway, back to the story. Because of this mix of cultures, I got to meet a lot of different people. One of these people was a Latino fella name Pedro. That was not really his name, but I needed a name and that one fit. I didn't know Pedro well, but I knew he was from Mexico and good at soccer. And before people start talking "That's racist! How did you know he played soccer?!", it should be noted that he was on the soccer team. So suck it.

Around this time, I also knew a Russian kid named Ivan. Again, that's not his real name. I don't have a reason to give him a fake name, but fuck it. His name is Ivan, now. Ivan was hardcore. For those who don't know, there is a standard rule that you do not fuck with Russians. When a nation's top export was Vodka and Communism, you don't fuck around with those people.

Over the course of a semester, I started to notice that Ivan stopped coming to class. After the second week, I asked someone if they knew what happened. Come to find out that Ivan was transferred to a school for "troubled youth". When I asked what happened, I found out that Ivan stabbed Pedro with a mechanical pencil. That's right, with a fucking pencil. And not a sharp one, that could easily penetrate skin, but a dull-ass mechanical one. I don't know what Pedro did, or why Ivan wanted to give him graphite poisoning. All I know is that I never saw Ivan again.

Moral of the Story: Don't fuck with Russians. Their hardcore and their currency isn't worth shit in America. On a side note, I knew other Russians that were far less fucked up. But still, I wouldn't fuck with them.