Planned Parenthood: Grab a Bat

So as many likely know, my wife and I recently had a wedding. But as a certain little note, we have been married for a while. And as part of being married for a while, we are starting to look at family planning. More and more, we find ourselves discussing what our kids will look like, what their career paths will be, etc. At the same time, we are discussing how to raise our kids. 

Now my wife and I have very different backgrounds. Growing up in China, my wife had a very strict upbringing. She went to school for 10-12 hours a day, had to supplement her education on weekends, and had strict discipline. If she ever misbehaved, it was not unheard of for my wife to be beaten by her parents. At this point I want to say that I am interpreting "beaten" to mean spanking. If not, then she had a really intense childhood.

I, on the other hand, did not have that same level of stress. I went to school, and my parents emphasized hard work, but they were not forceful about grades. They would celebrate a 'C' as quickly as they would an 'A', if I gave it my best. They also did not believe in spankings, beatings, or any other form of physical aggression towards children. My mother said, "if it would be assault to do it to an adult, then why would you do it to a child?" 

As a result, I had "less conventional" punishments. One time, I kept slamming my bedroom door. My folks had told me not too, but I wouldn't listen. Suddenly I heard a tapping, to find out that my father was taking the door off of the hinges. If I couldn't respect the door, I wouldn't have a door. One day I threw a tantrum and trashed my room. My parents took away my room. As I was asking where I would sleep, my father was pulling out a sleeping bag. He tossed it on the couch and said, "There you go. You can sleep there for a week." I disrespected the room and I lost the room. See? Creative.

Now we flash-forward to our family planning, and my wife and I are discussing discipline. I told my wife that I do not want anyone to strike our children. If they did, I would likely return that punishment to the person, tenfold. 

I am not saying that it would be exactly like the movie clip, but it is along the same ideas. Bottom line, don't fuck with my kid. I told my wife that if she ever got to the point that she wanted to strike our kids, she should call me and step out of the room. Of course, she interjected, "I grab a bat and hit them." I then admonished her, "If you're going to grab a bat, make sure there are spikes in it. Make it fucking count." She agreed, "that's fair."

On a side note, we also started to discuss the gender of our children. We currently have a bet. She thinks our first child will be a boy, and I am betting on a girl. Whoever wins, the loser throws the child out of a second story window.

Moral of the Story: Nobody will strike our kids, and my money is riding on us having a daughter. Also, we may have a slightly fucked up sense of humor, when it comes to our future kids.