Science!!

I would like to take a moment and discuss the fact that people need to stop abusing science. As an engineer and scientist, people need to cut the bullshit. I partly blame television for this. In order for anyone to be labeled as being a science "nerd" or "geek", all they have to say is "What the frack?". First off, the majority of people have no earthly idea what "frack" refers to. It could be fracking for oil, fractals in math/nature, fractions, or any number of things.

Secondly, scientists and engineers do not typically say "what the frack". We say "what the fuck". In fact, if you look at most scientists, they have some of the most explicit language. You remember in The Martian, when the main character says he's "going to science the shit out of this"? That is accurate. I know more scientists and engineers who say they will science or engineer the shit out of something, or science the fuck out of it, than I know any that say "what the frack".

In fact, if something happens that is unexpected in a scientific or technological setting, you are more likely to hear "son-of-a-bitch" or "hot damn!". The first one is if the activity went wrong and everything got fucked up. The second is when everything went wrong and there was an accidental breakthrough. That whole "eureka!" concept? Bullshit. I would wager a bet that "oops" is uttered more often than anything else, before a giant leap in science and technology. Most scientific discoveries come from some error that resulted in a breakthrough. Don't believe me? Look up penicillin. That's okay, I'll wait.......

Found it? That's right, suck it. Accidental discoveries, for the win. Speaking of penicillin, I would just like to state that I have an internal struggle with the anti-vaccine movement. The anti-vaxxers tend not to understand the science behind a vaccine (introducing a dead/harmless strain of a disease into the body, thus allowing the body to develop natural defenses against it). Because they do not understand this, they do not vaccinate their kids. Then, when the kid dies of typhoid, mumps, or the plague, the parents "don't understand how this could have happened". On the one hand, it is tragic that the children are dying because of parental negligence. On the other hand, you can argue that Darwinism is thinning the herd. Is that a fucked up way to think about it? Maybe. Is it an inaccurate way to think about it? Not necessarily. Either way, kids are the victims and that's a shame.

But back to science in general. I would like for people to stop fucking it up. On a side note, I have a lovely story about the Fireflies Event in the Smoky Mountains. One pleasant scientific fact that I learned (and verified) is that fireflies produce energy with approximately 10% heat and 90% light, whereas the majority of light bulbs produce approximately 90% heat and 10% light. That's pretty damn cool. Ha! I just realized the pun.

Back to people fucking up the science. I was watching Making a Murderer on Netflix. Spoiler alert, I'm going to tell you portion of an episode. At one point, they are in the trial, and they discuss a discrepancy with one of the DNA tests. The test had a sample blank, used as a control. If the blank comes back with a positive DNA result, then the results of the total test are to be ruled "inconclusive". Spoiler is that the test blank came back with the lab technicians DNA in it. Instead of reporting the test results as "inconclusive", the lab tech reported the test results, which implicated the defendant.

Now here is my issue. The lab tech broke protocol! And the fucking lawyer starts talking about how the protocol is black and white, and that is not the world we live in. Bull-fucking-shit, sir. This is science! Science is absolutely black and white. (Insert offensive  but funny joke about race and science here). The virtue of science is that it is the definition of black and white. For any test to be considered valid and/or true, it has to have measurable, replaceable results. If a protocol says that something is "inconclusive", that shit needs to be listed as "inconclusive". And don't get me wrong, I couldn't give two fucks about whether the guy was guilty or not. I know, I know, "but it's terrible to have a false conviction" and "but he killed that poor woman". I'm not here to argue that. I am here to say that they fucked up the science and should apologize. Not to a specific person, but to science and the scientific community, in general. And maybe send some flowers. I imagine they would smell nice and add a splash of color to the various labs and offices of the community.

Now with that all being said, I am glad that science is at least becoming acceptable in pop-culture. We are finally to a point in our society where STEM is being acknowledged for the potential to be awesome. And on that front, the pop-culture use of it is good. But even so, I wish TV and Movies could step their game up a little bit more. I would put everything on a spectrum. Interstellar, from James Cameron, is on the right side. That was a Hollywood movie, but the science in that movie was heavy as fuck. I still need my wife to explain it to me every now and then. And to be clear, left and right has no indication of conservatism. So fuck you, and fuck your politics. If you don't like the spectrum, invert it. This is science.

Then you have The Martian in the middle. I say that because it did really well to show general scientific principle and reality, without getting into the mind-numbing realness that would normally occur. On a side note, Matt Damon's character probably had a metric shit-tonne of cancer from that time with the radioactive core. Just a thought.

Then you get into the pseudo-science. I will say this is where superhero movies and GI Joe come into play. Why the superhero movies? Because they actually do use some scientific theories in their story lines. The science may be highly fictionalized or taken to an imaginative level, but it is still there. Why is GI Joe on this list? Because they tried to make it sound like trigonometry is hard. Really?! You learn that shit in fucking middle school. This is why China is beating the US in math and science.

Finally you get into everything else, like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. And yes, I believe magic is real and that there really is a Hogwarts. And no, I do not constitute that science. While the argument can be made that modern science is the same as medieval magic, that's not why I'm writing today.

So there you have it. I have voiced my issues with the fact that science is being abused by pop culture. I have also given credit to where pop-culture has made science more approachable. And I even gave a spectrum by which to judge the level of math/science that people might be interested in. And so now I leave you with a video that may cause you to have a visually psychedelic experience.

Now go look up the science behind why this works.