Is It Racist?

As everyone knows, we live in the Offended Age. What do I mean by that? I mean that everyone is getting offended by everything. Now do not get me wrong, there is a lot in the world to be offended over: hate crimes, hate speech, racism, sexism, antisemitism, and any other sort of discriminatory "-ism". And in many cases, the offense that people take is justified. What may seem unoffensive on paper, or on a screen, may have been said with a clear tone of hate or discrimination. So let me be clear, before I go any further, that I recognize that these elements are still prevalent in our society. I also acknowledge that, being a white, American male, I have a relatively sheltered exposure. While I have experienced discrimination for being Jewish, I have not had the same history of racism in the U.S. that many of my friends have.

With that said, I cannot help but wonder if there is a point where, by proclaiming something as racist, you become the racist. Here's an interesting example. A week or so ago, Ellen Degeneres came under scrutiny for posting this photo:

The caption for the photo was "This is how I'm running errands from now on." Of course, the internet blew the fuck up, talking about how it is racist for a black man to be carrying a white woman around to do errands. Ellen Degeneres has since replied to the backlash stating that she acknowledges that racism exists, but that she is not a racist. And so this becomes the conundrum.

From a historical context, this can easily be seen as racist. Given the history of slavery in America, it is no stretch of the imagination that a black slave may have once been forced to carry his/her white owner to go places. On the other hand, Ellen Degeneres posted the picture without a thought about race. Yes, I realize that this is assuming Ellen is speaking the truth, when she says that she does not hold prejudice. For the sake of this discussion, we will keep to this premise. In doing so, we can assume that Ellen would have made a similar post if it were any other person, regardless of race. The brings up the question: If it were a white, Asian, or Latino person, would there have been as much outrage?

And this brings me to the question. Is the picture, itself, racist? Or is it the interpretation of the picture that is racist? And if it is the interpretation that is racist, then who should be reprimanded? The more I think about it, the more I have come to believe that there is a point where, in an attempt to prevent racism, people will actually perpetuate it. Take a look at this interview with Morgan Freeman, from 2005. It is only a minute-ish long, but it highlights the point.

While I have zero intention of minimizing the impact that racism has on people, I do want to call attention to the fact that we - as a society - need to push past it. This does not mean that we need to turn a blind eye. There are still countless scenarios of racism in everyday life. It seems like there is a new video per week, showing a white police officer profiling and/or killing a black person. In those cases, where the racism is very real, a spotlight needs to be shined. In that same light, however, we need to see where the discrimination is fabricated. And when I say fabricated, I mean that it is assumed by the person offended. And I can hear it now. "You're victim blaming." "You would say that, whitey." Well for those that are about to get their pitchforks, fuck you. I am not saying that the offended person has no right to be offended. I am saying that they may be calling something racist when it really isn't.

I can give another example. I like to rip on people. My buddy Jacques likes to say that I can "throw shade". Now as a 5'6" white boy, I don't think anyone would ever use me for shade. I reflect light and I am too damn short to provide any sun cover. With that said, I am happy to talk shit about anyone or anything. Why? Because I can. And when I talk shit, I do not discriminate. I mean seriously. I literally just ripped on myself. And I think I am a fucking champion. Now let me ask you a question. Let's say I start in on a rant and insult everyone. I start making fun of every group of people, except for one. Let's imagine I make fun of every group of people, except for Latinos. At that point, I would be guilty of discrimination. Someone would then either yell at me for being racist ("Orale, we aren't good enough for you to diss, bro?"), or they would yell at me for giving preferential treatment ("Yo, what makes the Latinos so special?"). So how do I get around that? I insult every motherfucker out there. Bring it. I ignore race. I ignore religion. If I rip on one ethnic group, you bet your ass that I will rip on the rest of them.

By separating out what I say or do, for fear of offending a group of people, I immediately transition into discrimination. I am literally discriminating between groups of people. That's why I rip on everyone. That's why I don't think the picture of Ellen and Usain Bolt is racist. I think it was a joke about going to the store, and some people were sensitive to the imagery. Are they wrong to be sensitive? No.

In any event, this story has been sitting with me for a while. It's interesting to see where this balance is between intent and interpretation. Feel free to comment with opinions.

Hobbies

I need better hobbies. Evidently, when I get bored, I take on projects. The problem is that my projects aren't "normal". Most people decide to work on model planes, puzzles, or work around the house. I evidently choose careers. Yes, that's right. While most people create a simple, one or two month project, I pick something that most people try to make a living on. The "projects" I am working on include: certification as a personal trainer, Master's degree in management, build my wife's company, build my own company, certification in Krav Maga, review essays for college and scholarship applications, and have a wildly successful blog.

If you look at those, they are significant projects. The shortest one is the personal trainer certification, which will have taken me a year to prepare for. Could I have done it sooner? Yes. Would I be homeless under a bridge? Absolutely. But in taking so long to get certified, I may have the opportunity to contract out to a new gym that did not previously exist. The Master's degree and the Krav Maga are both new, this fall. The degree is to help with the companies, and the KM is for my personal interest and for training people in the future. The essays thing has been going strong for a while now, and has helped me through tough times. And the blog is really dependent on you readers. So start sharing my shit. Assholes. I joke. You are not assholes. I mean, you might be. If you like my blog then you very likely are. And that's alright, because I am, too. Insert winky face, here.

Anyway, this is a short post to give an idea as to all the projects I am trying to bring together. Mainly, I needed to get it out of my head and onto the screen. That's it. I'll likely post an update as various projects end. Why? Because what good is a blog if I cannot sell my own products or otherwise inflate my ego. Fuck you. Don't judge me. Only G-d can judge me. Now go read Glow-In-The-Dark Chicken AIDS and learn why that last statement was funny.

Fatherhood

I know that I have written a lot of stories about becoming a father, and I know that I have written a lot of stories that would make people question my competency as a father. This is neither of those things. Well, it might be. I don't know. We'll just have to see where it goes. But the approach to this post is a much more contemplative one.

The other day, I started think about the fact that I will be a father. What's more, I took some time to look at the state of the world. And then I got depressed. If you look at the state of the world, we have leaders that will say anything to win. We have dictatorial regimes. We have hate speech. We have hate crimes. We have poverty, corruption, violence, drugs, and climate change. And if you are about to rant about how climate change is a myth, then fuck you. Pull your head out of your ass, and realize that climate change is real. Climate change is scary. And even if it's not, why the fuck would you not want a better, cleaner world? And with all of these issues, I started to wonder, "Are we fucking up?" And this brought me to something that I have reflected upon for nearly 10 years.

For the longest time, I have questioned why we have children. Scientifically, it is an instinctual desire. Somewhere in our more primitive DNA, we are encoded with the desire to extend our genetic legacy. I was reading somewhere that this is part of the reason why sexual activity is so pleasurable. Most people have sex because they enjoy it. But on a biological level, it is a misdirect. The idea is that our bodies evolved to make sex pleasurable, so that we would be more likely to have sex. In doing so, we would be more likely to procreate. Of course, our bodies did not expect for our brains to invent the condom, birth control pills, etc. And so, on some level, I have always wondered if my desire to have children was more of an instinctual compulsion. If that was the case, then did I really want kids?

This is where we are going to take a brief detour, and look at what it means to have kids. As I mentioned before, the world is a fucked up place. We have constant threats and dangers. They are mostly man-made, but they still exist. If you look at the trends and expectations for the world, they only grow more dim. Is it really appropriate to bring a child into this world? On the contrary, I think there could be a strong argument that it would be negligent to do so. That's like selling someone a car, when you know that the engine could fail at any time.You can do it, and there is a chance that the car will not fail, but you don't know if it will someday blow up. Is it really fair to bring a child into this world? Is it fair to the child that we give them this pile of shit to someday deal with?

Approaching this question as a Jew, I had additional concerns. I experienced antisemitism and hate at a young age. Is it worth having kids, knowing that they may someday be subjected to hate? How would I be able to help them cope with such an experience. On a side note, I have to give tremendous credit to my folks. How they managed to keep me from being a fucked up person is beyond me. Okay, maybe I have a slightly fucked up sense of humor. But at least I am not afraid or ashamed to show my faith and my culture.

I continued to have these questions and doubts, until I was watching a TV show one day. I was watching the show Castle, which centers around a murder mystery writer that helps NYPD to solve murder investigations. During one episode, one of the detectives starts talking about his wife wanting a baby. He asks his partner, seeing all the shit that they do, how he could be expected to have a child. He had the same dilemma that I did. The partner then said something that I did not expect. The partner said that it was true, the world is much colder and harder than it should be for children. He then said that the key is to raise the child to be warmer, and kinder. He said that you have the child and raise the child, so that they may someday fix the mistakes that past generations have made.

I have often times reflected upon this. Now that we are expecting our first baby, I have reflected upon it more. When my wife and I decided to start trying, it was a very conscious decision. She was ready before I was. And when I finally decided I was ready to start trying, I had all of these thoughts flash through my mind. And in the end, I realized that I wanted to meet our future kids. I love my wife, with all of my heart. And at the risk of sounding cocky, I love myself. I have constantly tried to become the type of person that I would like to spend time with. And in doing so, I started to imagine what our kids would be like. I started to imagine what it would be like, to take the best parts of my wife, and the best parts of me, and combine them into a single person.

Then I started to dream of what we can teach our kids. I realize that they will have their own interests. Based on their parents, our kids will likely have a variety of interests. And I started to think about how we can help them to develop these passions. I started imagining how we could help them to be better than we are. We can help them to be better than our generation. We could help them to fix the problems we face. And I know, I sound like most current or future parents. "Well my kid is special. They are going to change the world." Well you know what, fuck it. I do hope our kid changes the world. If they do even one thing to make the world a better place, then we will have been a success.

 

This is the part of the post where I would normally insert a terrible joke. I know the exact joke in my head, and I just laughed out loud, but I do not want to dilute this post. I still question whether or not I actually wanted children, or whether I was just following a primitive, preconditioned instinct. And regardless of the motivating factor, I have a baby on the way. But every time that I start to question our decisions, and every time I start to question the humanity of what we are doing, I think about our future kid. I cannot wait to come home, and the child run into my arms. I cannot wait to teach the kid to be better than I am. I still dread the day that my children are exposed to the bitter sides of life, but I also look forward to when I can help them to overcome those tribulations.

So that's it. I doubt I will ever know if I made a conscious decision to have kids, or if my primitive brain took over. I do know that I am excited to meet each new person, as they come into the family, and I am excited to see them do better than we did.

Glow-In-The-Dark Chicken AIDS

I look forward to thoroughly fucking up my children. My wife and I were watching Sons of Anarchy, and there is a scene where a son is asking his father for financial assistance. The father tells his son, "Son, you need to grow some balls, do your business, and quit whining." Keep in mind that these are two people in the same biker gang. I cannot wait to have that type of talk with my kids. "Child, you need to grow some balls, do your business, and get your homework done. That equation isn't going to integrate itself." Someone asked what I would say if we have a daughter. I simply replied, "Daughter, your going to have to work harder than the boys if you want to be successful in life. That sucks, so you might as well get used to it. Now go calculate your fucking derivatives, or I'll have your mother start teaching you math." The humor is that I plan to threaten the kids to have their mother teach them math, regardless of what they do. Actually, the humor is that my wife will teach them math. They have no choice. Those kids are going to be calculating differential equations before they even know how to walk.

I joke about all of that. Kinda. Not really. Our kids are screwed. At least we can get a good chuckle from it. Fuck you. Don't judge me. Have you ever noticed that people like to say, "Only G-d can judge me!", right before they go and do something stupid? I always want to say, "Yes, and I am pretty sure G-d will agree that you're being a dumb-ass." Of course, then people have their feelings hurt. At the same time, you shouldn't go and get a tattoo in Rio, and then swim in the water. That's how you get the Zikka AIDS. And nobody wants the Zikka AIDS.

Speaking of AIDS, my wife told me a truly terrible story. It's funny, but in the "that's fucked up" way.  On a related note, I tend to have a fucked up sense of humor. So much so, that I asked a buddy if he wanted to know something funny. His first response was, "'Haha' funny, or your kind of 'fucked up' funny?" My wife's story falls somewhere in between. She was telling me of a student in China that was trying to use a tracer to map some biological process in chickens. In order to do so, they wanted to use a glow-in-the-dark tracer dye. The problem was that the chickens' immune systems would attack and eliminate the dye before it could fully permeate the body. As a result, they decided to give the chickens AIDS. The student figured out that they could attach the dye to the AIDS virus. While the immune system started fight with the AIDS, the dye would permeate through the body.

Now let me take a moment to summarize. The student was giving chickens glow-in-the-dark AIDS. The unfortunate part, however, was administering the virus. Evidently the student was holding onto the bird, while the assistant administered the virus with a syringe. Because chickens do not like AIDS, the bird was struggling. When the assistant administered the shot, the bird moved and the student was inoculated instead. That's right. The glow-in-the-dark chicken AIDS was inserted into the student's hand. As a result, his hand started to glow in the dark, and he was confirmed to have the AIDS virus. That is where this becomes one of those fucked up, but kinda funny stories. On the one hand, the student had a glow-in-the-dark hand. On the other hand, the student had nothing. That hand did not get hit with the virus.

I know I should not laugh, but the idea of it is so absurd that it is hard not to. One, it shows the dedication of a desperate graduate student, if they are willing to get glow-in-the-dark AIDS, in the name of their degree. Two, they not only got AIDS, but glow-in-the-dark AIDS. Their hand literally became their night-light. It's like the Incredible Hulk meets Spider-Man, but in a fucked up, non-superhero type of way. This student will forever be known as the guy with the glow-in-the-dark chicken AIDS. Evidently the school paid a metric fuck tonne of money to help treat the virus. Of course, that required heavy doses of chemo-therapy, and the student lost his hair and was sick. So basically, the student was given the choice of having glow-in-the-dark AIDS, or chemo-therapy and misery for the rest of his life. How the fuck do you make that type of decision?

Anyways. The moral of the story is that Sons of Anarchy is an enjoyable show. Oh, and my wife and I are going to rock the shit out of parenting.