Rio, Ultra-Sounds, and China

So, it's that time again. I need to figure out what the shit I am going to post on. Yesterday, my wife and I got the first ultra-sound of our baby. Our child currently has a head, and a heart. The picture was awkwardly life size, as the kid is currently 2.29 centimeters long. That's right, our child is the size of a grape. That's it. That's all I have to share.

The Olympics are still going on. Evidently there is a lot of controversy. One guy said that adoptive parents are not real parents. Another credited a swimmer's win entirely to her husband/coach. Bullshit as usual. The athletes are struggling with injuries. The French gymnast fucked his leg UP! I mean, he snapped the fuck outta his leg. Talk about instant shock.

Other athletes are showing up with bruises, which are attributed to cupping. Now I know what you may be thinking. How does molestation result in circular bruising all over the body? The answer is that cupping has evolved to mean more than sexual harassment. Now it is in reference to putting cups on the body, using heat or vacuums to suck the air out, and forcing the blood into the skin and muscles. With that said, legend has it that the Olympic village also tends to have quite a bit of the sexual cupping, too. That's between the athletes, though. On a side note, if they use protection, they may want to make sure the condoms are not laced with drugs. I actually heard that Rio was handing out little packets of drugs, with the official Rio Olympics stamp. That's some fucked up marketing, but I bet it gets people to come back.

Oh, I forgot that my wife's friends from China are coming back to visit. They are "reporting on the election" so that they can get their trip funded. Their goal is to have a tradition of celebrating Halloween in the US. That's pretty sweet. Speaking of Chinese things, I finally got a sweatshirt that I ordered. I had always wanted a short-sleeve hoodie, and I finally got one. The punchline? I ordered it back in May. That's right. I ordered something in May, and it took nearly three months to arrive. Why? Because China. That is now my favorite shirt/hoodie, simply for the amount of time I had to wait for it. I will wear that shirt until the day I die. In 40 years, when I let myself go and embrace my inevitable beer belly, I plan to still wear that shirt. I'll look like an old and sad Winnie the Pooh. And you know what? I give zero fucks for it. That shit took way to long to get, not to wear the shirt for the rest of my life.