This will be more in essence of my random thought generator. I was thinking about the bullshit that comes with the media. With the seasons changing in the next few months, I cannot wait for the news coverage. It will start with the elections and campaigns, and end with the war on Christmas. Every time I hear that term, I immediately picture Santa Clause walking out in combat fatigues, with his sleigh on tank treads. Rather than a big bag of toys, he has a canister feed rocket launcher. Rudolph is dressed up like Rambo, holding a knife in his mouth. Every time they land on the roof, Santa and the reindeer perform some SEAL Team Six shit to get the presents under the tree. If a kid wakes up, and comes down the stairs, an elf pops out of the shadows and knocks that kid the fuck out. That's what I envision, when I hear about "the war on Christmas".
In other news, I have no other news. I like DC Comics more than Marvel. Who saw that shit coming? Why do I like it more? Because DC is depressing as fuck. Flash's father was falsely imprisoned for murdering his mother. Green Arrow's dad killed himself to protect his son, and the mother dies as payback for past transgressions. Batman is an orphan. Superman is a Super-orphan, having lost his entire planet. Then you have the fucked up villains. Joker and Harley are a textbook case of abuse and Stockholm syndrome. Lex Luthor was a shitty, rich kid that hated not knowing shit.
Compare that to Marvel. Iron Man is a genius, playboy, philanthropist with "fuck you" money. Thor is a god. Captain America did steroids. Incredible Hulk accidentally got nuked and developed anger issues. Iron Man fights other genius inventors. Thor fights other world shit. Captain America fights Nazis. And the Hulk fights US military. Don't get me wrong, the stories are great. I just like the coldness of the DC Universe.
And before everyone bitches and moans, yes I know that there is more to each universe than Justice League and Avengers. But fuck you, those are the only groups people ever think about. Thank you, Hollywood, for that. On a related note, I only actually like the Origin Stories from any comic book. That's where the heroes are at their best. They are raw. They are unpolished. They are grappling with their new abilities. That is the glory in a hero, for me: how did the character become the character that they are.
Moral of the Story: I like DC Universe and expect action figures depicting the War on Christmas, featuring SEAL Team Santa and Rudolph the Rambo Reindeer.
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