I Shot a Man's Penis...

So I know it has been a while. I actually have a story that's ready, I just need to add the pictures. And no, this is not that story. But I will tell you one thing, I learned that I am decent at krav. Why do I say that? Because I had a test on Monday. The fun part about the test was that they had a "live-fire" pistol disarm portion. No, they did not bring a real pistol. They did bring an air-soft pistol, however, which is close enough.

One person got shot in each leg. She sustained instant welts that later started to bruise. I did my disarm, however, and did not get shot. I will tell you one thing, though, is that I have trained to be effective. I grabbed the gun and had it pointed away from me before the guy could even think of pulling the trigger. After I disarmed, I took the gun and shot at the fella.

Now normally, we train with fake rubber guns. And normally, I would not expect the gun to fire. In this case, however, the gun fired very well. Before I even knew it, I had the gun pointed at the guy, squeezed the trigger, and heard the *pop*. Everyone in the class gasped, as the guy jumped to dodge.

Now I know what you may be thinking. That's a lie. I have no clue what you are thinking. But I can tell you this, I shot the guy in the penis. To be fair, I fired as I was raising the gun. And to be fair, I was aiming for center of mass. But how do I know I hit him in the nether-yay-ya? Because he told me. As it turns out, this was one of the few times that the guy chose to wore a cup. When I had shot him, I heard the pellet hit something and ricochet. As it turns out, it hit his cup and bounced.

I then realized where I was, and what I was doing, and apologized to the guy. He told me he was a proud instructor. He said that our purpose is to neutralize the threat and get to safety. If that means shooting a person with their own gun, then great.

At the end of the night, we did scenario testing. This is the same type of test that I once barricaded myself in a room. In this case, they said that I am to walk through the hallway, looking in the rooms to find my son. For this drill, all weapons were rubber. As I approached the first room, one person put a pistol in my back. Before I thought, I had trapped the arm and began attacking my assailant. A person in that room opened the door with an assault rifle. I managed to grab the pistol - still in the hand of my attacker - and shoot person with the rifle. I then turned the gun back on the attacker and made them shoot themselves in the head.

This is where it got interesting. There was a time when I played video games. I played a lot of shooting games, where you would go and collect ammo or weapons from your fallen enemy. My wife and I would play to the point where I would call it "harvesting" supplies from the enemy. Eventually she started calling me an Angel of Death, harvesting souls. That part doesn't matter. What does matter is that I went into the room with the "fallen" assault rifle, and took it. The guy thought I was joking, until I put the newly acquired pistol in my waste-band and started clearing the hallway with the rifle.

In the end, there was only one more person, and they had a bat. He asked why I was pointing a gun at him, and I asked why he had a bat. He said he was playing baseball, until I started pointing the gun at him. I told the guy to go back to his game, and I wouldn't have to point a gun at him.

Moral of the Story: Video games teach real world skills, and I shot a man's penis.